


The Experiment

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child Abuse, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Dean Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Protective Bobby Singer, Protective Dean Winchester, Tricksters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2283984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam takes part in an experiment to earn some extra cash. It causes him to regress back to age 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam was 21 years old and studying at Stanford. Times were tight, even with being on scholarship. He still had living expenses on top of going to school. Sometimes, he was a bitter about not having family support like his friends but he just reminded himself that he didn’t need them. They didn’t want him in their lives anyways because he saw something more to life than hunting. He knew his father was so bent on revenge he would never see that and Dean was too obedient to think for himself.

One of Sam’s ways to get extra cash is volunteering for projects. His personal favorite was sitting in a chair while art students drew him. It was an easy way to make a hundred bucks. Granted he had to take his clothes off for the art students, but that didn’t really bother him. It is not like it was sexual in anyway. It was just work and art.

Recently, he had become interested in the social experiments the psychology department was doing. He knew he was just a guinea pig and his life was far from normal on the bell curve. But it was yet another way to make a buck and these experiments tended to pay better than the modeling. He was on his way to one of those jobs.

This one was about bringing out one’s inner child. He had no idea what exactly that meant, but if all he had to do was color for a few hours and go home. That was fine by him. Sam already had a nice story made up for his family if asked. It wasn’t entirely a lie. His mother died when he was a baby and they moved around a lot for his father’s work. His father was a mechanic that worked on heavy equipment in the field.

Sam knew his father was at one time a mechanic and he knew their moving around had nothing to do with mechanic work. But if he told the psychology department that his dad hunts down supernatural monsters and kills them while looking for the demon that killed his mom. Sam figured his next stop would be the local mental hospital.

Sam arrived at one of the university buildings at Stanford for the experiment. He had to fill out all the standard paperwork and he had to list an emergency contact. He had started putting Jessica since they moved in together a few months ago. She was okay with it, but it did cause her to pry into Sam’s life to find out what the deal was with his family. Sam never broken down and told her anything. It wasn’t that he was obeying his father’s rule by not telling her. He just didn’t want her to think he was crazy.

After filling out the required paperwork, Sam slowly made his way into what looked like a large classroom. It had 20 desks in the room and a paper cup with an odd looking brown liquid in it. He shrugged and sat down. Slowly the room filled with other volunteers and then an older man in a lab coat walked in the room.

Sam shook his head at the lab coat, it was so stereotypical. The man in the lab coat spoke, “Good morning, my name is Dr. Gabriel Angels. I am going to be conducting an experiment to help each of you bring out your inner child. Each of you have a cup on your desk. Once you drink what is in the cup, you will fall back to age 7.” The doctor paused, “Now, please drink up.”

Sam took the cup and swallowed the liquid in one solid swig. He knew immediately this was a mistake. He felt his vison going in and out of focus. He put his hand on the desk as he tried to steady himself. Sam felt himself fall onto the floor as he heard what he could swear was the sound of a clock ticking before everything faded into white.

++

Sam opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was waiting outside his elementary school for Dean to walk him home. He didn’t know where he was. He sat up on the floor of what looked like a classroom and there were a bunch of adults acting like children. Some were upset and crying while others were nervous and quiet. It was weird.

Sam sat up and stood. He looked down at his hands and they were bigger. The desk seemed further down and he was taller than the adults in the room. Sam saw a mirror over on one wall and he looked at himself. He stared at himself as he ran fingers over his face. He didn’t recognize himself and he looked like an adult.

He became scared and he wanted his dad or Dean but he didn’t know where they were. Sam started to cry and a young woman in a lab coat came over him. She was shorter than Sam, which he felt was weird. He was just a kid and now everyone was taller than him. The woman was nice when she spoke, “Sam, why don’t you have a seat?”

Sam nodded and sat down at one of the desks. He crossed his arms around himself and said sternly, “I want my dad.”

The woman nodded, “I understand, Sam. Do you want us to call your emergency contact?”

Sam looked up at her as he continued to cry and sheepishly said, “Yes.”

Sam stared at the desk in front of him for what seemed like hours until the nice woman came back. She had a coloring book and crayons in her hand. She set them down on the desk in front of Sam. She knelt down next Sam and said softly, “I called your contact, Sam. She said she will be here shortly. Why don’t you color in the mean time?”

Sam nodded as he bit down on his bottom lip. He wondered why this lady called his father a she but he didn’t ask. He just wanted his dad to get here. He didn’t know what exactly he wanted from his dad, but he knew John could make everything better. That is what dad’s are for, making everything better.

++

 Jessica sped to get to the building on campus where Sam was. All they told her was that an experiment had gone wrong and now all the participants regressed to childhood. The worst part was they had no memory past whatever age they regressed too. She cringed at the thought of that. Jessica knew that she didn’t know Sam growing up and if what they were saying was true than he would have no idea who she was.

Once Jessica was inside they led her to Sam, who was quietly coloring while he cried. In all the time they had been together. She had never seen Sam cry. It broke her heart and wanted nothing more than to comfort Sam and to tell him it would be okay. She rushed over to Sam and put a soft hand on his shoulder.

Sam turned to look up at her and Jessica saw no recognition on his face. She knelt down next to him and said, “Hey Sam, do you know who I am?”

Sam looked at her for a moment as he took in her features. He had no idea who she was. She didn’t look like any of his teachers, Dean’s teachers, or people they had seen around town. Sam turned his head away and looked down, “No. Do you know when my dad is going to get here? They can call Dean if they can’t get a hold of him. Dean is my brother. He was supposed to walk me home from school today.”

Jessica was taken aback by the childlike voice Sam had. She closed her eyes and reminded herself to stay calm. She knew that if she got upset right now. It would only further agitate Sam. As calmly as she could manage, Jessica said, “Sam, you are 21. You took part in an experiment and something happened. It caused you to forget a lot of things. I am your girlfriend.”

 Sam crunched up his brow and looked at her like she was insane. Then he said simply, “Girls are gross.”

Jessica laughed because Sam was acting typical for the age, even if it was heartbreaking. She was hopeful Dr. Angels was right and Sam’s memory would slowly come back. Right now, she just wanted to get Sam home. She thought that maybe home would trigger some sort of memory for him. She spoke softly, “Sam, we should go home and I can get you to bed. You look tired.”

Sam moved away from Jessica in the desk. He noticed it wasn’t nearly as effective as he was hoping because he was bigger now. But it was still worth the effort in his book. He nearly shouted when he spoke, “I am going anywhere with you. I don’t know who you are!”

Jessica looked down and noticed Sam’s cell phone on the floor. She quietly thanked god for the small miracles as she picked up the phone. She smiled at Sam and said softly, “Okay Sam, there is no need to get upset. Let me see what I can do to help you.”

Sam eyed Jessica speciously as she left the room with a small devise he didn’t recognize. Jessica stepped out into the hallway and started going through the contacts on Sam’s phone. Much to her disappointment there wasn’t a contact for ‘dad’. She thought that figured since when Sam described what his father was like. He chose the word ass to describe him.

Jessica sighed in relief when she saw a contact named ‘Dean’. She nervously pushed the call button. It picked up after a couple rings. The voice on the other end of the line was deep and cheerful, “Sammy! I thought you would never call.”

Jessica swallowed and spoke with caution, “This isn’t Sam. I am Jessica, Sam’s..”

She was cut off mid-sentence. The man on the other end of the line sounded protective, “Where is Sam?”

Jessica looked around and she spoke quickly, “Umm.. Stanford. He was doing an experiment today for some extra cash and now he doesn’t remember anything past age 7. He won’t go home with me. He keeps asking for his dad or Dean. Are you the Dean he is talking about?”

Dean sighed and chuckled on the other end of the line, “Yeah, I am. Sam is my baby brother. I am actually in San Francisco. I can be there in about an hour. Hopefully, he will recognize me.”

Jessica nodded and quietly, “Thank you, Dean. Umm.. Sam didn’t have a contact for your dad so I couldn’t call him.”

Dean chuckled again and replied swiftly, “Yeah, Sam and Dad didn’t part on the best of terms. It is sort of a long story and family business, if you know what I mean.” Dean paused, “Tell Sam, to hang tight and I will be there.”

++

Dean was nervous walking through the university campus trying to find the right building to find Sam. He was worried about Sam and he thought Sam was an idiot for doing this experiment. But Dean knew he had nothing going on and his would provide the perfect opportunity to get blackmail material for later.

Dean wandered his way into the correct building then after a briefing from the doctor on what was going on followed by checking out Sam’s hot girlfriend. He was certain that Jessica was out of Sam’s league and thought he may try to get into her pants later. Dean figured it would be okay, if Sam thought he was 7. Little Sammy would not be old enough to treat a lady right.

Dean entered the room where Sam was. He was coloring and the room was mostly empty. There were a couple of other people in the room that seemed to have the same issue as Sam. He carefully made his way over to Sam. He waited for a moment before saying anything. Dean took in how Sam’s dexterity was like that of a child.

Dean patted Sam gently on the shoulder and said in his best big brother voice, “Sammy, you do know how to get yourself into a mess. I am guessing they already told you that you are 21, not 7. I am Dean, all grown up.”

Dean watched as Sam looked up at him. Sam’s eyes were so innocent. He had almost forgotten what that innocence looked like on Sam. It was lost somewhere along the way between the time that Sam learned the truth and left for college. Dean saw Sam’s tear stained cheeks and he knew Sam had been crying.

Sam bit down on his lip as he looked at the man in front of him. He could see a little bit of Dean in him, but he wasn’t sure. He wanted his dad. Sam tentatively said, “I..I..I want to talk to Daddy.”

Dean sighed and pulled out his cell phone. He had called their father on the way down here and Dean thanked his lucky stars that his father answered. John was in Maine and it would take a week or more for him to get to California. Dean had his doubts that John would show up anytime soon and he was starting to wonder, if getting Sam to Bobby’s place would be the best bet.

Still Dean dialed the number for his father. He was relieved when John picked up. John’s voice was agitated, “Tell me, Sam is just being dramatic.”

Dean sighed, this was why Sam and their dad always fought. Sam didn’t know how to let comments like that slide. Dean spoke carefully and clearly, “I have Sam with me. I think everything I told you about this is true.” Dean paused, “He wants to talk to you and can you please just take it easy on him?”

Dean heard John mumble on the other end of the line, “Yes, I will play nice.”

Dean handed the phone over to Sam and said softly, “It’s Dad.”

Sam picked up the phone from Dean and held it to his ear. His voice was that of scared child, “Daddy, what is going on? I am bigger and the guy that says he is Dean is bigger.”

Sam listened as John spoke in a supportive manner, “I know, Sammy. It is okay. I should be there in about a week. That is Dean who is with you. I want you to listen to him and obey him like you would me, okay?”

Sam felt his tears start up again and he sobbed, “Yes, Daddy.” The he paused, “But what if he wants to take me away somewhere?”

Sam listened as his dad said in the same voice, “Sammy, Dean isn’t going to hurt you and I am sure he will tell you where you guys are going. If you get scared, just ask him to call me and you can talk to me. How does that sound?”

Sam nodded his head and said, “Okay, Daddy.”

John replied softly, “Good boy, Sammy. Will you let me talk to Dean?”

Sam pulled the phone away from his ear and handed it back to Dean. His brother took the phone as he ruffled Sam’s hair. Dean turned away from Sam and asked, “So..”

John gruffly replied, “I told him to listen to you and to obey you like he would me. You should get about 25% compliance. If he misbehaves tell him that I will know and he knows what the consequences of that are.”

Dean rolled his eyes. His father could not seriously be talking about spanking his 21 year old brother. Not like the spanking ever got through to Sam anyways. They always tended to just piss Sam off more and cause him to rebel more. Dean turned away from Sam and said to his father, “I was thinking about taking Sam to Bobby’s place. It is familiar to him and Bobby has always been good to us.”

Dean could hear John grumbling on the other end of the line. Then John said dryly, “Yeah, because he wanted the two of you to be his kids.”

Dean decided to ignore the resentment in his father’s voice. He knew Bobby worked hard and made them work hard. But Bobby always made the time to go do things with him and Sam which is something their father never did. Dean sighed and said, “Okay, I am going to stay here for a couple days and if this doesn’t get any better. I will meet you at Bobby’s place.”  Then Dean hung up the phone. He didn’t want to hear the rest of his father’s commentary.

Dean turned back to Sam who was smiling at him with a childish grin. Sam joyfully said, “Are we going to Uncle Bobby’s?”

Dean grinned and messed with Sam’s hair. He knew he could get away with it if Sam thought he was 7. He knew that if Sam was actually is dramatic 21 year old self, there would be hell to pay for touching his hair. Dean replied simply, “Maybe in a couple days, right now, I need to find us a motel and we need to get some lunch.”

Jessica reached out and put a hand on Dean’s arm to draw him back. She was adamant when she spoke, “Sam and I live together. It would be no trouble having you stay there.”

Dean nodded and smiled at Sam, “Change of plans Sammy, we are staying at your place with your lady friend.”

Sam glared at him for a moment before crossing his arms and saying, “I don’t want a lady friend. Girls are gross.”

Dean snickered and smiled at Jessica. He was hoping she wasn’t taking this personally, but he knew how chicks were. He knew she was going to act like everything was fine and then when Sam was back to his 21 year old self. Sam was going to get bitched out relentlessly until he apologized and possibly begged for forgiveness.

  


	2. Chapter 2

It was clear to Dean that the kid was nervous and scared. Not just because of his endless fidgeting but the silent tears that fell from his face. Dean should have known that when Sam saw the Impala and their dad wasn’t there it would upset Sam. It took him no less than 20 minutes to explain that John had given the car to him. Dean was nearly certain Sam thought he stole it. Once they were safely to Sam’s apartment Dean was hopeful Sam would calm down.

Inside the apartment wasn’t much better, why? Because of the loving kissing and hugging pictures scattered throughout of Sam and Jessica. Dean was amused when Sam balked at the first picture, but then it continued to the point it was no longer funny. It also became apparent to Dean that it was upsetting Jessica, even though she tried to act like everything was fine.

Then mid-afternoon came and Dean had forgotten that Sam needed a nap at age 7 or he always became a complete pain in the ass. Sam started whining and kicking Dean as they sat on the sofa. Dean thought how getting kicked by a 7 year old wasn’t bad, if it wasn’t a 7 year old in a 21 year old body. It hurt and Dean was fairly certain he was going to have a few bruises from the attack. He knew Sam didn’t mean to hurt him and if he remembered correctly he encouraged this behavior. Dean couldn’t remember exactly why he encouraged it but decided he wasn’t responsible for that. He was 11 at the time and 11 year olds should not be put in charge of a 7 year old for weeks at a time.

Finally Dean had enough and decided to put Sam to bed. He firmly grabbed hold of Sam’s legs and said with authority, “You need to go lay down for a nap.”

Sam struggled against Dean’s hold for a few moments until his face turned beat red. Dean knew that adult Sam could easily get out of this hold, but the child in front of him, didn’t stand a chance. It took a few minutes but Sam crossed his arms and said smugly, “I don’t have a bed here and I don’t know where my stuff is.”

Dean grinned and tickled Sam’s feet causing him to laugh. He teased Sam and said, “Oh, I think Miss Jessica can tell us where your stuff is and you can lay down on the sofa.”

Jessica looked up from her laptop, Dean didn’t know what she was doing on there. He figured it was either homework or cataloging everything Sam was saying to piss her off so she could use it against him later. She softly replied, “Oh, Sam can sleep in our room. I can stay out here. I know given the circumstances that could make him uncomfortable.”

Dean smiled at her and let up on tickling Sam’s feet. He grinned at Sam and said, “You hear that Sam? You haven’t upset your lady friend enough yet to get banished to the couch. Come on.”

Sam reluctantly followed Dean to the bed room. Dean helped Sam out of his over-shirt and Sam slipped out of his jeans. He pulled back the covers and Sam sunk into the bed. He had a contented smile on his face as Dean pulled up the covers and tucked them in around his body. Dean bent down and kissed Sam on the forehead, only because he used to do that when they were kids. Sam smiled up at Dean before turning on his side and drifting peacefully to sleep.

Dean sighed in relief and walked out of the bedroom. He left the door cracked so he could hear Sam. He wandered his way to the table where Jessica was on her laptop. He put on his best charming grin. “Sorry about Sam, I am sure he doesn’t really mean the things he is saying.”

She looked up at him with an expression that Dean couldn’t quite make out. Jessica shrugged and said simply, “It’s not his fault. I understand that. It is just.. hard.” She paused, “I should go out and get some toys or something for him. It might keep him from kicking you when he wakes up.”

Dean chuckled, “Oh, he is going to kick me. But some toys might help keep him happy. I can go run and pickup what he likes. No reason for you to have to spend your time and money doing that.”

Jessica shook her head no and went to stand grabbing her purse. “No, I want to go. I need some air anyways. Do you remember what he liked at that age?”

Dean shrugged, “We didn’t have a lot of toys growing up. I am sure some army men and Legos would be fine. An activity book or something might be good too.”

Jessica nodded and added, “I can pick up a couple kid movies. We don’t have cable, so I suspect that will cause a lot of complaining.”

Dean glanced over and saw the antenna sticking off to the side of their TV. He causally asked, “You guys get your basic locals?”

Jessica fidgeted for a moment and said, “Umm yeah, we can pick up 8 channels.”

Dean nodded and said with a smile, “That should be fine to keep him happy. We grew up in motels and worse. He should be more than satisfied with that selection.”

Dean watched as Jessica’s expression turned to one of shock. She stumbled for her words, “Oh, I didn’t know that. Sam never talks about his childhood.”

Dean shook his head and grinned, “Oh, I can tell you plenty of stories about Little Sammy that he will kill me for later.”

Jessica smiled back at Dean and said softly, “I think I would like that, but I should get this errand done.”

Dean nodded and winked at her as she left. He noted what a nice looking butt she had as she walked out the front door. He shook his head at that thought. He knew he had to wait until later to get into her pants and he knew this would be a slow process. He knew she still had some loyalty towards Sam, but he also knew his little brother was doing a great job of causing her loyalty to sway by acting like a child.

Dean turned his attention to Jessica’s laptop which she left open. He figured he could at least check his email and defer any cases back to Bobby for assignment to another hunter. Dean didn’t like not being able to hunt, but he knew he had to take care of Sam right now. Taking care of Sam was after all his only job.

As he looked on Jessica’s computer he noticed a word document was open. Curiosity got the better of him and he opened it. He was surprised when it showcased weird events, like what happened to Sam around the area. There was the experiment where they were testing a new vitamin that caused all the participants to grow tails. There was the art model who spontaneously became covered from head to toe in a coarse layer of human hair. There was the section of the law library where the text was converted from English to Chinese overnight.

Dean tapped on the keyboard for a few moments then mumbled to himself about how this might be case. Since he wasn’t above stealing someone else’s research. Dean attached Jessica’s word document to an email and sent it to Bobby along with a brief outline of what was going on with Sam. Dean hoped Bobby would be able to offer some insight into this. He decided not to tell his father until he knew something for sure. He knew how his father could be and he didn’t want to deal with that right now. 

++

About an hour later Jessica was back from picking up some items to occupy Sam and he was still sleeping. Dean was busy watching daytime television. He wondered why anyone would want to stay home all day to watch this crap when his thoughts were interrupted. He heard a shriek and Sam frantically yelling, “Dean!”

He jumped up from where he was sitting and nearly ran into the bedroom. Sam was sitting on the bed with his hands covering his crotch. His face was red and he looked distressed. Dean looked around the room for any obvious monsters that might have caused this situation and came up with nothing. He put on his best big brother voice and asked, “What is wrong, Sammy? Are you okay?”

Sam shook his head no and looked around the room suspiciously. He whispered, “Dean, my private parts are hard and they hurt.”

Dean bit the side of his mouth to keep from laughing. Sam woke up with a hard on and was freaking out. He was torn on whether to tell Sam to go take a cold shower or explain to him how to use his hand to take care of it. Dean knew he should just tell Sam to go take a cold a shower. Dean knew John would have some choice words for him if he told Sam how to masturbate.

But right now, Dean didn’t care what his dad would say. This was perfect and he could give Sam hell about this for years, possibly decades. He figured he might even be able to tell Sam’s kids this story someday. He took a couple slow, deep breathes to keep himself from laughing. He knew that if he laughed Sam would be on to him.

Dean reached into the nightstand by the side of the bed and found a bottle of lube. He tossed it over to Sam, who stared at it like it was from another planet. Dean grinned and spoke calmly while trying to hide his desire to laugh, “It is okay, Sammy. This is a normal part of growing up. You have what is called an erection. To take care of it, all you have to do is go into the bathroom by yourself and put some of that lube on your hand. Then rub it on your dick, back and forth. It will feel good and eventually it may feel like you have to pee. That is okay, just keep going and until it feels better.”

Dean paused to take in the look of horror on Sam’s face. This was perfect, Dean, thought. He regretted briefly not videoing this. But hindsight is always 20/20. This would still be enough to give Sam hell about. He decided it was important to add the rules for jacking off. He may want to mess with Sam but he didn’t want Sam to get arrested.

Dean put on his best stern voice while he continued to try not to laugh, “Now Sam, this is something that is always done in private and always in the bathroom with the door closed. You never let anyone else see it like it is now until you are mentally older. If you want to talk about it, you can talk to me, dad, or Bobby. But make sure we are not in a public place when you bring it up. Got it?”

Dean waited for Sam to tentatively nod. Then Dean plastered a smile on his face and patted Sam on the leg, “Then go on, Sam, and make sure you wash your hands with soap and water when you are done.” He watched as Sam retreated from the bedroom to the bathroom covering his crotch. Dean snickered to himself again.

Dean wandered back out into the living room while Sam was taking care of it. Jessica was pacing. Dean gave her a curious look and she asked, “Is Sam okay?”

Dean laughed because he could now and said through his laughter, “Yeah, he’s great. He woke up with a hard on and didn’t know what it was or what to do.”

Jessica gave him a perplexed look and said, “Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. But I guess that makes sense given the age. What did you tell him?”

Dean grinned and flopped down on the sofa. “I did what any big brother would do in this situation. I told him how to jack off. Don’t worry, I told him not to whip it out anywhere.”

Jessica gave Dean a horrified look and Dean wondered momentarily if he was going to bet bitched out by Sam’s girlfriend in addition to his father and probably Bobby. But after a few moments her expression softened and then she laughed. Jessica moved to sit down next to Dean and hit him hard in the arm. She looked over at him and said, “He is going to be mortified about this when he get back to himself.”

Dean smirked back at her and put on his best charm, “That is what I was hoping for.”

About 15 minutes later, Sam joined them on the sofa. He sat down next to Dean and Dean turned his head to look at Sam. His little brother looked flushed and content. Dean decided that he had to make this complete for future teasing purposes. He causally asked, “So champ, how did it go?”

Dean watched and tried not to laugh as Sam’s eyes got wide and whispered, “Dean, we are not supposed to talk about it in front of girls.”

Dean nodded and listened as Jessica struggled to hold in her laughter. He figured he would show some restraint and not tell Sam that Jessica has already seen and played with it. He would just let that little piece of information lay dormant. He could tease Sam about that later when he wasn’t mentally a child anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Jessica and Dean stayed up late talking about Sam. Dean recounted Sam’s antics growing up much to the amusement of Jessica. She liked hearing about Sam’s life. Even though Dean downplayed any sort of struggle in their life. It was clear to Jessica that Sam’s life was not an easy life. She could see why he wanted to get away from it. But what she couldn’t understand is why he cut off all ties with his family when he went to Stanford.

Around 2 am Sam was upset about Dean not being in bed with him. Jessica wasn’t sure how she felt about learning that Sam and Dean shared a bed most of their lives. She could see a co-dependency between the two, but she suspected it went away with age.

Currently, it was 8 am and Jessica had just woken up from sleeping on the couch. She felt bad for Sam so she let them have the bed. She put on a pot of coffee then she peaked into the bedroom. She saw Dean was asleep laying on his back and Sam was awake. He was building something with Legos on Dean’s chest. She smiled and then she whispered, “Sam, why don’t you come out here and do that? So you don’t wake your brother?”

Sam turned back to look at her. His hair was a ruffled mess as his face changed to a bright smile. Sam shook his head feverishly no and then went back to playing with his Legos. Jessica shook her head and closed the door slightly. She determined she would have to ask Dean how he managed to get Sam to listen to him.

She sat down at the table after pouring herself a cup of coffee. Jessica started to read into the other odd cases in the area. She had dated a hunter while she was in high school, Christian. She had forwarded the information to him. Hoping he could help out.  Eventually, she checked her email and it was from Christian.

_Jessica,_

_It looks like a case. I am across the country though. I called in some favors to see if there were any other hunters in the area. Someone by the name of Dean Winchester should be contacting you. I don’t know much about him, but I understand he is one of the best and a little arrogant. My sources tell me that he has been hunting all of his life, so he might be as good as me._

_Let me know if he can’t handle it. Rumor has it his little brother ran off from hunting because he couldn’t handle it._

_Christian_

 

Jessica stared at the screen then over to her bedroom for moments. She knew Sam was a little particular about things but she was never able to determine what exactly. Now she knew what Sam was running away from and she couldn’t help but feel a little bit betrayed that he never told her. Christian had told her after only dating for a few weeks. She lived with Sam, yet he never uttered a word of it.

++

Dean didn’t wake up until 11 and by that point Sam had nearly built a fort on him. He stared at Sam’s masterpiece for a moment, wondering how he slept through that. Then he looked at Sam who was extremely pleased with himself. Dean slowly moved the Legos off of him and sat up. He looked at Sam who still wasn’t dressed for the day.

Dean gave Sam a stern look, “Go wash up and get dressed. Have you had anything to eat?”

Sam tilted his head at Dean with curiosity and said, “Nope! I was waiting for you to wake up.”

Dean nodded as he yawned, “Okay, then I will see if you have any food around this joint.”

Dean brushed his teeth before wandering about into the kitchen. The first thing he noticed was Jessica standing in the kitchen with her hands gripped to the counters. She was mad. He had seen plenty of pissed off chicks in the past. This was why he was a love them and leave them kind of guy. By the time they got pissed. He was long gone.

Dean sighed and asked, “Did Sam say something stupid this morning I should know about?”

Jessica snapped, “No, it is what he didn’t say and how he has been hiding his life in secrets and half-truths. He was never going to tell me was he, Dean? You were never going to tell me!”

Dean stared at her for a moment while he tried to think of what the hell she meant. She had a crazy look in her eye but it wasn’t jealously. It was betrayal. Carefully he asked, “You are going to have to help me out here. What secret was Sam keeping from you?”

Jessica blew out an angry breath and said flatly, “You’re a hunter and so was he.”

Dean closed his eyes and thought to himself how he was going to have a talk to Sam about family business later on today. Then he realized that Sam didn’t know about the family business was at age 7. The kid had no idea what their dad did and Dean wasn’t hunting yet. Dean shot his eyes back open and stated, “Yes, I am and so was Sam. He didn’t want that for his life. One of our dad’s rules was never to tell anyone.”

Jessica chuckled, “Funny, I don’t remember Sam ever caring about what his father thought. Why does he think his dad is an ass?”

Dean ran his hands over his face before looking Jessica in the eye and replying. “Sam wanted to go to college like any normal person on the planet. When he told Dad. Our dad became angry and told Sam that if he leaves not to bother coming back because he won’t be his son anymore.”

Jessica crossed her arms and caught Sam in the corner of her eye, before she asked. “Is that why your dad isn’t here? Because he disowned Sam?”

Dean looked at her dumbfounded for a moment and stammered, “No, he is across country. It will take a few days to get here. He loves Sam. He was just angry when he said those things to Sam. He always says stupid stuff when he is mad and Sam always takes it to heart.”

Jessica tilted her head up and said, “Whatever, one of my ex-boyfriends is a hunter. He said that you should be contacting me about what happened to Sam. There have been other odd things happening and he thinks it might be a case.”

Dean glared at her for a moment before stating firmly, “Name.”

Jessica perked an eyebrow back, “Christian Campbell.”

Dean nodded and said, “Okay, show me what you got.”

++++

Dean spread out everything Jessica had on the cases on the table. He tried to call Bobby multiple times and got voicemail. When he tried to call Bobby’s house he didn’t get an answer. It worried him, but what worried him more was that he sent Sam to get washed up and dressed 30 minutes ago.

Dean put his coffee down and said, “I am going to check on Sam.” He wandered his way back to the bedroom where he found Sam curled up in the corner of the room crying his eyes out. Dean carefully knelt down next to Sam and asked quietly, “Hey Sammy, what is wrong?”

Sam sniffled and looked up at him, “Daddy doesn’t love me.”

Dean grabbed Sam by the wrist and pulled him in for a hug. He asked softly, “Sammy, that’s not true. What would make you say that?”

Sam sniffled and buried his head in Dean’s chest. “Because of what you said to Jessica. Is that why he isn’t here?” Sam broke into a sob, “He’s never wanted me, huh? That is why he always leaves and leaves me with you. Daddy never spends time with me or plays game with me.” Sam gasped, “He hates me. He hates me. He hates me.”

Dean did his best to try to calm Sam down but Sam kept sobbing that their father must hate him. Dean could not remember a time when Sam was this upset. He had seen his fair share of upset and dramatic Sam but this time was different. This time it was like Sam’s entire world had just fallen apart. Dean knew short of John walking through the door right now to reassure Sam, nothing would calm him down.

Dean realized he had to just wait Sam out. Eventually, Sam would either calm down or pass out from crying. He knew Sam would probably pass out from crying because Sam had always been too stubborn to just calm down.

Hours passed by and still Sam didn’t calm down. By mid-afternoon, Dean was starting to worry that Sam was going to make himself sick. He had tried calling John, but as per usual, he got no answer. Dean didn’t leave a voicemail because he was still holding Sam and he didn’t want Sam to think he was coaxing their father into doing anything.

Sam stopped crying abruptly when there was a knock on the door. It was a set of knocks Dean had learned to recognize in his life. It was Bobby’s knock. Sam sprang up from Dean’s lap leaving Dean sitting on the floor with numb legs and his shirt covered in tears. Sam ran into the living room to see Bobby sauntering his way in.

Sam threw out his arms and wrapped them around Bobby and exclaimed, “Uncle Bobby! You look the same.”

Bobby returned the hug, not failing to notice Sam had been crying. He looked over his shoulder to see Dean, who had clearly been dealing with a very upset Sam. Bobby gently rubbed Sam’s back and said softly, “Thanks kiddo, I don’t want to get old too quick. You look upset. Did your idjit of a brother say something?”

Sam recoiled from Bobby slightly but then nested his head in Bobby’s shoulder, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Sam sniffed and grabbed hold of Bobby’s shirt.

Bobby rolled his eyes, because he knew Sam couldn’t see. He guided Sam over to the couch and sat him down. Bobby leaned Sam back from him and brushed Sam’s hair out of his face. Bobby frowned and said, “You know I love you, right?” Sam nodded and Bobby smiled, “Nothing you can say will make me love you any less, so why don’t you help an old man out and tell him what is wrong?”

Sam buried his head in Bobby’s chest before he started sobbing again. Bobby managed to hear between sobs, “Daddy hates me.”

Bobby gave Dean a look that clearly meant explain. Dean ran his hand through his hair and stammered, “Sam overheard me telling Jessica the story of when Sam left for college and Dad was being an ass.”

Bobby nodded as he gently rocked Sam in his arms. He knew that at 7 Sam feared being abandoned by their father more than anything. He also knew that Sam would be awake at night crying after Dean had fallen asleep, mumbling something about how his dad thinks he is evil. Bobby knew that with all the effort he gave, he was never able to get through to Sam that John doesn’t hate him or think he is evil.

Dean dragged a chair in from the dining room and sat down across from Bobby.

Carefully, Bobby asked, “Sam, when you were a kid… You used to get upset like this after you thought Dean was asleep. You always said that your daddy thought you were evil.  Why would you think that? Is it because of the crap that comes out of Dean’s mouth or your daddy’s mouth?” Bobby made a point to glare at Dean as he made that statement. Because he was going to have words with Dean if Dean said anything to contribute with Sam’s behavior.

Sam sniffled and shifted. His voice was weak, “I heard him on the phone one night. He said I am the reason Mommy is dead.”

Bobby sighed and continued rubbing Sam’s back, “Oh Sam, that wasn’t your fault. Your mama was just checking on you when the fire started. You were 6 months old. There was nothing you could have done to make it your fault.”

Sam shook his head no as his whole body shook, “No, Daddy said it was me. I heard him. Daddy said… Daddy said he should have let them have me so he would still have Mommy.” Sam broke out in another long sob.

Dean felt anger growing inside of him and he stood from the chair. On Dean’s short list of things that are not allowed, messing with Sam is at the top of the list. In less, it is him messing with Sam then that is allowed because that is part of being a big brother. Dean tried to control his anger and clenched his teeth, “Who Sam?”

Sam looked up at Dean with teary eyes. He shrugged and said, “I am not sure.”

Dean let out a slow breath in an effort to calm himself, “Okay Sam, this is important. Do you remember Dad ever saying or doing anything to you after you heard that phone call?”

Sam moved his head back down into Bobby’s side and shook. Bobby gently rubbed Sam’s back and said softly, “It’s okay, son. I am not going to let anyone hurt you. I promise. I am here and the only person that can kick me out is you.”

Sam’s sobs filled the room for nearly 10 minutes before it finally calmed down. All the while, Dean had a sinking feeling his fears were right. His dad either said something or did something. He knew words could hurt just as much as physical pain.

Jessica was standing off to the side biting her lip. She already knew the answer to that question. She just never heard Sam utter the words. Jessica decided to lie. Gently she said, “Sam, you told me that your dad hit you for no reason. Is that true?”

Sam looked at her with a look she could only describe as broken. It hurt her to know that inside Sam, the one that she knew, was all this buried pain. She had never seen a child cry this much in her life. Sam held on to Bobby like his life depended on it and he nodded yes.

Dean stared at the ceiling for a moment and murmured, “Oh my God… Oh my God.. Oh my God.” Dean then picked up his cell phone and dialed their father again.

This time John answered, “Dean, how is Sam?”

Saying Dean was angry was an understatement, “Explain to me why Sam thinks you believe he is evil.”

John’s answer was short and gruff, “Dean, kids think lots of crap.”

Dean gritted his teeth and said, “Okay, then do you mind explaining to me why you hit Sam? You know, I should have seen it. All those bruises on him that he told me were from bullies that just happened to show up after I left him alone with you. The bully was you wasn’t it? You know, I thought Sam being a geek caused him to get picked on and that was it. I was wrong wasn’t I?”

John sighed, “Dean, it’s not like that. I didn’t want to hit your brother. It was the only way to make sure the evil stayed back.”

Dean counted to ten in his head in an effort not to loose his cool. He then let out slow breath and said, “Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? Trust me, for me it takes a bit for something to sound crazy.”

John told Dean flatly, “Dean, don’t question me.”

Normally this would get unwavering obedience from Dean, but not this time. He harshly said, “I am an adult and I can question you if I want. Now, whatever caused Sam to revert back to child seems to be part of a larger case. Bobby is here and we are going to work on it. Sam wants to see you and I am not going to deny him that. However, you will never be alone with him and you will not lay one hand on him. Do you understand?”

Dean listened to his father grumbled. He didn’t care if his dad came to California to try to beat the life out of him. He could handle it and defend himself. Sam, however, could not handle it or defend himself. Finally John said, “Fine, but don’t rule out that Sam is either target or the cause of the case.”

Dean heard his father hang up on the other end of the line. He looked over at Bobby and Sam. Bobby’s eyes were filled with rage. He was nearly certain Bobby was going through all the ways to kill John in his head, but he didn’t ask. Sam didn’t need to hear that. Sam was wide eyed and the tears had stopped. He looked shocked.

Sam slowly pulled himself away from Bobby and said softly, “Thank you, Dean.”


	4. Chapter 4

As evening came, Jessica was teaching Sam how to play chess. Dean knew what she was in for when she decided to teach Sam a game. He knew Sam would have a million and one questions. He knew Sam would over think and ask Jessica about every possible move he could make. He knew how exhausting that could be.

Jessica did seem to be showing the strain of the endless questions and curiosity that sprung from Sam’s childlike mind, but it did give Dean and Bobby a chance to go over what they knew. It admittedly wasn’t much and they would have to go interview victims tomorrow.

Dean put Sam to bed early after telling him a story. Sam thought it was completely made up, but it was actually true in a watered down sense. He told Sam the story of boy that killed the werewolf. The boy in that story was him and Sam had a little hero worship for the boy in the story. It made Dean smile. Dean would never admit it but he liked having this time with Sam.

He didn’t like learning about the extent of abuse Sam had suffered at the hands of their father. But it was the simple times like this when he could make Sam smile, when Sam believed he could protect him from the world that made Dean smile. It also makes him regret not being a better brother. Dean knew his dad had a temper. He had taken his share of swings from his father, but in all his years he always told himself it was okay and not to put up a fight. Dean thought that as long as Sam didn’t get hit; it would be okay. He never imagined that Sam was getting hit all along. Dean never imagined it wasn’t just him.

Bobby had left to get a motel room. Jessica had offered to let Bobby stay with them, but he insisted on getting his own room. Dean wasn’t sure why that was, but he didn’t ask. He knew Bobby had his reasons and it had been an emotional day for all of them.

Jessica was sitting on the couch after Dean left and put Sam to sleep. Dean made his way back out to the living room. He sat down next to her and looked at her. He knew something was on her mind. Dean sighed and asked, “Is everything okay?”

Jessica nodded and looked away. She didn’t say anything. Dean knew that was not normal for chicks in less they were posturing to unleash their wrath on someone. He hoped it wasn’t him or Sam. He had a feeling though it was Sam because Sam was just a kid and the scars of his young life showed clearly on the surface.

Dean had his own thoughts spinning around in his head. He leaned back his head and looked at the ceiling. He spoke in almost a whisper, “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know. Sam would always argue with him and start a fight with him. He only looked tense or scared right before he started the fight. It was never physical, but I was wrong.”

Jessica turned her head to look at Dean and spoke surprisingly calm, “It is part of the cycle of domestic abuse. One person in the family will actually instigate the abuser to lash out. It may not even be a conscious thing Sam was doing, but I can tell you what the textbooks say Sam was looking for by provoking your father. Sam was searching out the calm that came after his father hit him. He probably wanted to find that calm within the family, which is why he provoked him.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow at Jessica and asked flatly, “If that is the case then why didn’t he ever listen to our dad?” He paused as soon as the question came out of his mouth. Sam did listen to their dad and he did do what he was told. Sam just provoked a fight before obeying. Dean turned his head away and said quietly, “He did.”

Jessica turned and looked at him. He rested her head on her arm and asked, “He listened?”

Dean nodded and said, “Yeah eventually, I don’t know if the whole domestic violence theory is correct. But Sam did listen. I mean he was kept on a pretty short leash growing up. When he was a teenager and would want to stay out late or whatever, I was always there.” He paused, “When he left for college. He wanted me to leave too. He wanted me to go live my own life. I told him I couldn’t leave family like he could.”

Jessica smiled, “Sam was never much of a rebel when he got here. He had a rough time getting started from my understanding. He didn’t mention his family until one night I was at his dorm and I saw an old family picture. He took it from me and shoved it in a drawer.”

Dean looked down at his hands and said, “For as much as a girl Sam can be sometimes, he has trouble talking about things.”

Jessica shrugged and said pointedly, “He told me his mother was dead. He told me you and your father disowned him. Sam told me he doesn’t have any family that wants him in their lives.”

Dean leaned back and said quietly, “Once he remembers who he is. I owe him an apology for a lot of things.”

Jessica leaned in and kissed Dean softly on the lips. She moved her head up to his ear and whispered, “Then we should give you something to apologize about.”

Dean reached up his hand and ran it down Jessica’s side, feeling her soft curves and learning her body. Her body felt nice under his hand. He moved and began kissing her deeply as he continued to touch her on her back and side. He wanted to do this, but in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t. He knew Sam would be pissed.

Quickly Dean pushed away his doubt and ran a hand over Jessica’s breast and she reached down a hand and rubbed the inside of his thigh. He moaned as he felt blood rush to his dick. The only thought in the back of his mind was Sam doesn’t have to know.

Slowly, he worked Jessica’s clothes off along with his own. She was on top of him now straddling him as she kissed him. His hands roamed from her back to her chest to hips and down her thighs. Every part of her was perfect, Dean thought. At least in this moment she was perfect.

She knew just how to touch him too. She knew just the right way to flick his nipple to make him moan and she knew about the soft spot behind his ear that he never told anyone about. The way she perfectly stroked his cock made Dean want to whiter away forever. He was lost in the moment and convinced it couldn’t get better, until it did. He almost whined when Jessica moved to lift off of him.

Jessica started to mount him and he threw his head back in pleasure. This felt so good. Sure, he’s felt this a million times before but this was perfect. She was perfect, but still something wasn’t right. He grabbed hold of her hips to stop her and he looked up into her eyes. Dean could tell she wanted this and he shifted under her before finding his voice. It came out weaker than he wanted, “Condom?”

Jessica leaned down and kissed him on the lips and whispered, “I am on birth control and I am clean. Don’t worry.”

Still Dean didn’t move his hands. He searched her face to tell him what was going on. He had his dick partially inside of his brother’s girlfriend, but that wasn’t what had him stopping. It was her lack of concern about protection. Dean kissed her on the neck as he thought and then he released his grip and let her ride down on him.

It felt good. It felt like Heaven, if Heaven was even really a place. Dean was sure this is what it felt like. Nothing rushed, everything gentle and warm. Everything felt safe and perfect. Slowly Dean felt his climax build and then he came inside Jessica. He held her close as he worked through it and as she reached her own climax.

Slowly, she pulled off him and flopped herself down next to him with her arm wrapped around his waist. Jessica rested her head on Dean’s shoulder and hummed softly, finally after a few moments she said. “You’re good.”

Dean blushed as he pulled away to put his pants back on and said, “Thanks, so are you.” He stood as he slipped his pants on looking at her. She was hot and he had wanted to get into her pants since he first laid eyes on her. But now something was eating away at him. He wasn’t sure what it was. It was nearly a foreign feeling to him.

He looked away back towards the bedroom and then he realized what was eating away at the insides of his mind. It was the same feeling he got in the back of his mind every time, Sam lost something he wanted. It didn’t matter what it was. Once Dean felt this when Sam wasn’t able to finish his homework because his dad had them join him on a hunt. Once it was because Dean never stood up for Sam in front of his dad. More than once it was for the normal life that Sam never got to have.

But now, this feeling was for taking something from Sam. Something that had nothing to do with their dad. Something that was entirely his choice. Dean knew he could have stopped. He could have said no. He knew he should have said no and he knew he shouldn’t have been thinking about Sam’s girlfriend in the first place.

He feels himself getting sick. Dean rushes off to the bathroom and closes the door. Behind the safety of the door he throws up. He heaves over the toilet until there is nothing left, but it doesn’t make the pain eating away at him go away. Dean leans back again the bathroom wall. He knows he has screwed up. He knows there is no way to make it up to Sam. He knows that he was being selfish and something more than an asshole for wanting this.

Dean doesn’t know if he should tell Sam. He knows Sam will find out. The kid isn’t dumb and he will know something is up. He will know something is different. Dean stomach clinches when he realizes that Jessica could have lied to him. He realizes that Jessica may not be on birth control. What if he got her pregnant? What if the baby is his and not Sam’s? What if she isn’t clean? What if he isn’t clean? Now that Dean thinks about it. He doesn’t even remember the last time he got checked. His heart stops beating for a moment, when he thinks about what if he caused Sam to get an STD? How would Sam ever forgive him?

Dean buries his face in his hands and mummers to himself. “Please forgive me, Sammy. I swear I won’t do it again.”

Dean showers to wash the smell of sex off of him. He changes into pajamas and lays down in bed next to Sam. His brother looks so peaceful sleeping. Dean closes his eyes and prays that Sam will forgive him. If he knew away to punish himself for this he would.

He feels shifting in the bed and Dean feels Sam snuggle up to him. Just like a child looking for safety, Sam was holding on to him. Dean felt tears run down his face. He knew that he was the one Sam trusted in life and now he had betrayed that trust. Dean knew that this time an apology wasn’t going to make it better. He knew he had no one to blame but himself. This was his fault and his alone.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Bobby was somewhere between concerned and pissed off when he finally made it back to Sam’s apartment. Dean had called him early and advised him that he did something stupid. Dean didn’t want to tell him over the phone and Bobby was fearing the worse. He knew how stubborn the Winchesters could be and he was worried about Sam getting caught in the crossfire of whatever idiotic thing Dean did.

Bobby sat down on the sofa and watched a very nervous Jessica and Dean navigate around each other. He wondered where Sam was but he heard Sam playing in the bedroom. He was relieved that Sam appeared to be happy and alright, but he still wanted to know what had Dean so on edge.

Finally after, Dean gave Bobby a coffee which caused Bobby to wonder if Dean was ill. Dean never coddled anyone and he never looked this nervous. Dean’s voice when he spoke was equally as nervous, “So.. um.. I kind of did something without thinking.”

Bobby quirked an eyebrow and said flatly, “You do a lot of things without thinking.” Bobby noticed that Dean’s stance got tenser and Bobby sighed. “Okay, do you mind telling me what you did?”

Dean crossed his arms and looked back between the bedroom and Bobby a couple times before he blurted out, “I slept with Sam’s girlfriend. He’s going to kill me when he gets this fixed.”

Bobby leaned back and ran his hands over his face a couple times before giving Dean the death stare. “Do you have to sleep with every girl Sam has an interest in? Was his prom date not enough for you?”

Dean’s nervousness was replaced with defensiveness, “Hey, Jessica is totally out of Sam’s league. It’s not my fault I have skills.”

Bobby glanced over at Jessica who was beat red, but she was neither defending her actions nor sticking up for Sam. He remained silent for a few moments contemplating what to say or do. Bobby wanted to just take Sam back to South Dakota with him so Dean and John can sort this whole thing out. It would also put Sam and Dean a safe distance apart so Sam wouldn’t try to kill Dean.

However, Bobby doubted John was going to use the care needed to solve the case and restore Sam’s memory. He wondered if John would prefer Sam to be mentally incapacitated and something in his gut told him John would prefer that.

Bobby pulled himself from his inner musings to deal with the situation at hand, “First of all, I think Sam is out of Jessica’s league not the other way around. You both should be ashamed of yourselves and both of you will be telling Sam what happened once he comes back to himself.” Bobby paused to make sure he got nods from both of them, “Secondly, I have half a mind to take Sam with me and let you clean up this mess Dean. But I know that if I leave, you will probably just do the wild thing more with Jessica. Keep it in your pants, Dean.”

Dean kept his head down and said a simple, “Yes sir.”

Bobby rolled his eyes and stood up. His voice was stern, “Now, either you boys can stay with me at the motel at night or Jessica can stay at the motel and I will stay here. I am not giving you the opportunity to do anything stupid again.”

Jessica finally said something to her defense, “We don’t need a babysitter.”

Bobby glared at her for a moment and said, “You’re right, you just need to a conscience to know it is not okay to sleep with your boyfriend’s brother.” Bobby felt himself getting angry and said, “You know, he loved you. Anytime, Sam called me he would talk about you. He would have done anything for you and this is how you repay him? Really?”

Jessica sheepishly looked down and said, “Sam still loves me.”

Bobby crossed his arms and said coldly. “I am sure he does and I am sure you are going to break his heart too. I hope both of you are proud of yourselves.”

Dean sighed and looked back over to the bedroom, “I am sorry, Bobby. I really am. It just felt like a compulsion I couldn’t control at the time. I have a list of names of other students that were effected. I can go interview those.”

Bobby nodded, “If Jessica is okay with watching Sam. I can see who I can interview from library and other instances.”

Jessica smiled slightly and said, “It is the least I could do.”

+++

Dean took to speaking with the families of the affected and the professor in charge of the experiment. He was using the angle of setting up a support group. It seemed like a reasonable course of action. His head was still hurting from Bobby’s lecture. He knew it was very much deserved but he didn’t like the idea of Bobby taking Sam. Dean also knew Bobby was dead serious about taking Sam. He decided he should be lucky that Bobby didn’t decide to leave with Sam.

Dean’s first stop was at the building where the experiment took place. He waited for what seemed like hours until he finally got to speak to Dr. Gabriel Angels.

Gabriel walked out wearing the stereotypical white doctor’s coat and shook Dean’s hand. The man had a huge fake smile plastered on his face as he showed Dean into his office. Gabriel sat down at his desk as spoke to Dean calmly, “Mr. Winchester, what can I do for you?”

Dean was nervous but he buried his nerves under a fake bravo. “My little brother was part of the experiment and I was wondering if you had any information on if what happened is reversible.”

Gabriel gave Dean a concerned glance and said, “Yes, I believe it is reversible. However so far none of the participants have shown any improvement. All we can really do is wait and see, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean nodded and asked carefully, “How long have you been with the university?”

Gabriel smiles and says swiftly, “Three years, why do you ask?”

Dean shook his head and made brief eye contact, “No reason, just curious. Um, thank you for your time Dr. Angels.” Dean stood and shook Gabriel’s hand before moving to exit the room.

Gabriel stood at his desk and said pointedly, “Mr. Winchester, I recommend being careful in what you hunt.” Then Dean caught a glance of a huge smile on the man’s face.

Dean shook his head and snickered back, “I am not scheduled for any hunting trips, Dr. Angels. Those have been postponed.”

Gabriel tilted his head and grinned. Dean moved to turn the doorknob and it wouldn’t move. He turned back to look at Gabriel who was walking out from behind his desk. He leaned against the front of it and crossed his arms. “You’re a hunter, Dean, like your brother and your father. So many secrets fill your lives. You are different from the others. Sam isn’t wealthy or spoiled like the others I affected. I almost felt bad until I realized who he is and then you showed up.”

Dean was silently cursing himself for not going into this armed but he really wasn’t expecting to find the source of the problem so easily. He asked with all of his arrogance, “What do you want from us?”

Gabriel scoffed, “I thrive in chaos. I enjoy it and your lives are filled with chaos. I will tell you what. I will make you a deal. Each forbidden family secret you or your dad tell Sam. He will gain one year of his memory back.” Gabriel snapped his fingers and grinned, “I just made it easier for you. Your father will be waiting in Sam’s living room for you when you get home. You may want to hurry though. I don’t think he likes Sammy very much.”

Dean glares for a moment and asks, “What is the catch?”

Gabriel shrugs, “The catch is you are distracted and cannot find me. Don’t worry, I am not too worried about your drunken family friend or your cousin.”

Dean grabbed the doorknob and walked out of the office. He quickly went out to the Impala and started home.

++

Sam was sitting on the floor in the living room coloring while Jessica was napping back in the bedroom. She was tired from last night and Sam didn’t really understand why. He just knew that sometimes adult did weird things like sleep during the day. He never understood why anyone would want to sleep when they didn’t have too.

What Jessica was doing didn’t really matter to Sam though. He was coloring a picture for Dean, because Dean looked sad this morning after Uncle Bobby yelled at him. He didn’t hear what Dean was in trouble for but figured it must be pretty serious if Uncle Bobby was thinking about separating him from Dean. His heart hurt with that thought. He didn’t like his overprotective brother sometimes, but he couldn’t really imagine life without him.

Sam stopped coloring when he heard a strange sound inside the apartment. He moved his head to look around and saw his father standing by the door. He stood up and smiled widely, “Dad! Dean said you weren’t going to be here for a few more days.”

Sam started to walk over to John to give him a hug, but John grabbed him by the arm. He twisted Sam’s arm around his back and pulled it up until Sam cried out. Then he pushed Sam to the floor while holding his arm. He spoke coldly into Sam’s ear, “Explain to me what is going on or I will beat it out of you.”

Sam felt his eyes filling with tears because his arm hurt but he didn’t want to cry. His dad always became angrier when he cried. He didn’t know what his dad wanted from him.  Dean was handling everything because Dean always handles everything. Weakly Sam replied, “Daddy? I.. I.. I don’t know. Dean has been taking care of me.”

John pulled Sam’s arm up a little further until an audible pop was heard and Sam screamed. Sam couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. It hurt too much. He started to cry which caused John to let go and shove Sam to the floor. He harshly said, “Not what I wanted to hear.” Then he stared into Sam’s terrified eyes as he started to take off his belt.   

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jessica woke up abruptly to the sound of commotion in her living room. She could hear Sam crying and begging along with another voice she didn’t recognize speaking harshly to him. She couldn’t really make out the words. Jessica carefully peaked out the door and saw an older man was looming over Sam. The older man was kicking Sam across his curled up body. She could see that one of Sam’s arms wasn’t moving at all and was just laying limply behind him.

She had seen Sam get into his fair share of fights before. Being college students there were always the parties where drunken men tried to get to close to her and Sam had always fended them off without a problem. He could fight, at least the adult version of him could fight, but this mentally younger version of him didn’t even put up a fight.

Jessica stepped back into the bedroom and quietly closed the door and locked it. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and went into their master bathroom and locked the door. She sat down on the toilet and dialed 911.

The phone rang once before answering, “911, what is your emergency?” She heard a female voice on the other line say.

Jessica whispered into the phone, “I need the police. Someone is in my apartment. I don’t who he is but he is beating my boyfriend. Sam looks hurt.”

The calm voice said, “Okay ma’am, what is your address?”

Jessica quickly raddled off her address in between deep breathes.

“Thank you. Officers should be there soon. Are you safe?”

“Yes, I locked myself in our bathroom. I don’t think he knows I am here.”

“Okay, I just need you to stay calm. What is your name and what is your boyfriend’s name?”

“Jessica Moore and his name is Sam Winchester.”

“Okay, how old is Sam?”

“Um.. 21, but he was part of that experiment that made the news. He is mentally 7 right now. His brother Dean is in town because of it but Dean isn’t home.”

“I heard about that, Jessica. Can you hear anything that is going on?”

“Yeah, I hear sirens.” Jessica could feel that she was losing control of her emotions. The sirens gave her a nervous sense of relief and more fear.

“Okay, just stay on the line with me until the officers get to you.”

+++

John was yelling at Sam as his son curled away from him. Sam’s legs were drawn up to his chest and his one arm that wasn’t popped out of socket was covering his face. He knew Sam was crying but he needed answers. In John’s mind, Sam always caused stuff like this and today was no different.

He stopped when he heard a loud knock on the door followed by shouting, “This is the police. Open up.”

John rolled his eyes and looked down at his bloody knuckles. He sighed and opened the door. He was careful to hide his hands from view and to hide Sam’s body from the police. He casually asked, “Is there a problem officers?”

The cop who was probably in his early thirties standing next to his less intimidating partner did not look amused. The cop tilted his head to the side to try to look around John but he couldn’t see anything beyond John’s body. Calmly, the cop asked, “We had a report of a break in at this residence. Could you please step outside and show us your ID?”

John swallowed hard and nodded. He could hear other police sirens and he knew that it was going to be difficult to make an escape. He didn’t know the layout of the land and he had no vehicle to quickly escape. Slowly he opened the door and stepped out in the hall. He knew the officer was staring at his bloody hands as he pulled out his ID. He decided to use his actual ID.

The cop looked at it for a moment before looking back up at John. He smiled lightly, “Thank you, Mr. Winchester. I am looking for a Sam Winchester. Is that your son?”

John nodded nervously, “Yes, he is. Why?”

The cop quirked an eyebrow and his gut told him something was wrong. Calmly he said, “Mr. Winchester, we are going to take a look around the apartment.”

The cop walked past John and opened the door. He immediately saw the beaten and bloody body of a young man lying on the floor. He spoke into his radio, “Dispatch, this is Hendrickson. I am going to need an ambulance.”

 John didn’t put up a fight when the cop cuffed him and dragged him into his patrol car. He watched in silence from the backseat of the car as the medics rushed into the apartment. He watched the tears fall down the face of a young blond haired woman he’d never seen before. He noted how the woman was very interested in what was going on with Sam. He listened as she sobbed and called for him, even as the police pulled her away.

John felt hope when he saw the Impala round the corner. He figured Dean would come to his defense or at least help him escape. He didn’t expect Dean to only glance at him angrily before calling out, “Sammy!”

++

To say Dean was pissed would be an understatement. He understood that a magical cross country trip that landed John square in the living room of the son he disowned could be upsetting. He just never imagined that his father would have so little self-control that he would beat the life out of Sam.  Dean was in shock when he saw Sam’s apartment swarming with police and ambulances.

At first he thought, Jessica must have thought John was an intruder and shot him with one of Sam’s guns. But that clearly wasn’t the case. John had beat Sam instead while Jessica did god knows what. He hadn’t had a chance to speak with her. She was being interviewed by the police.

Dean on the other hand was sitting in the hospital waiting room for word on his brother. As fate would have it, he actually had all the paperwork from the experiment in his car to explain to the doctors. He wondered if this was part of Gabriel’s plan but he didn’t know. He was completely distracted by the fact they wouldn’t let him see Sam. He had to know Sam was okay because that was his job. It was the only job that he had that really mattered and he had managed to screw it up.

Finally after what seemed like years, but was actually about four hours a perky little nurse named Anne came out. She smiled at Dean which he honestly didn’t care for right about then. He just wanted to make sure his brother was okay and not locked in a mental hospital. She casually called his name, “Dean Winchester?”

Dean got up and walked over to her with a worried look on his face. “I am Dean Winchester.”

She smiled at him and pursed her lips. Anne tilted her head to the side and grinned, “Why you look nothing like your brother.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Any other time, he would have been game for the flirting but right now. He couldn’t stand it. Slowly Dean asked, “Can I see my brother? Is he okay?”

Anne nodded and motioned for him to follow. Dean followed closely behind as they weaved through the hallways of the emergency room. She stopped by room 66 and stepped inside. Dean followed and found Sam laying on the bed in a hospital gown with his legs pulled up on the bed under a thin blanket. He was clutching a teddy bear in his left arm while his right arm was in a sling. Dean could see a few small cuts on his face that had been cleaned up along with some bruising around his right eye and cheek.

Carefully Dean asked, “Sammy?”

Sam looked up at Dean but his eyes were distant. That worried Dean. Sam snuggled with the bear as he eyed Dean. Sam looked so young and Dean was at a loss as to what to do about this situation. Luckily, Anne the nurse broke in with reassuring words, “Dean, why don’t you have a seat by Sam. The doctor and a social worker will be in shortly to discuss your options with you.”

Dean nodded and walked over to Sam. He didn’t sit down because he just wanted to be close to Sam. He walked over to Sam’s bedside and carefully brushed Sam’s hair out of his face. Sam shifted slightly on the bed to be closer to Dean, which he took as a good sign. After a while Dean noticed Sam was relaxing to touch and he softly spoke. “Sammy, can you tell me if you’re alright or if you need anything? I am sorry I failed at protecting you.”

Sam looked up at Dean while still holding his bear close. Sam’s voice still sounded like a child but it was hoarse, probably from screaming Dean’s mind supplied. “I hurt Dean. Why does Dad hate me? Do you hate me?”

Dean sighed and pondered for a few moments what he was supposed to say to that. He hated chick flick moments but he wondered briefly if this a chick flick moment or taking care of a kid moment. For the sake of his manhood, he decided that this moment would be nothing more than taking care of a kid. This was definitely not a chick flick moment.

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam on the top of the head. Then he touched the side of Sam’s face to turn it towards him to force eye contact. Dean spoke with softness and strength, “Sam, I could never hate you. I love you and I promise I will do a better job of protecting you.” He paused when he saw that Sam was crying. He let out a slow breath before continuing, “I don’t know what has gotten into Dad and I clearly do not know the man as well as I thought I did. Right now Sammy, you don’t need to worry about him. You have me and Uncle Bobby. We both love you and we will do anything for you.”

Sam moved his gaze back towards the door and asked distantly, “Is Uncle Bobby going to make me go back to South Dakota with him?”

Dean chuckled, “You say that like it is a bad thing. I don’t know Sam. I do know that wherever you go. I will be right there with you.”

The door opened to room 66. The social worker and the doctor walked into the room. As fate would have it the doctor was Dr. Gabriel Angels. Dean could have strangled the man on the spot but reframed himself. He didn’t need to get arrested like his father. Dean was fairly certain just by the absolutely clueless look on the social worker’s face that she had nothing to do with Gabriel’s little game.

Gabriel smiled at Dean and held out his hand, “Dean, I must say I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

Dean begrudgingly shook Gabriel’s hand and spoke carefully, “You and me both. Um.. So what is going on with Sammy? Is he okay?”

The social worker spoke quickly like she was running a personal race to get her words out as quickly as possible, “We need you to sign some paperwork first. It is just a formality. It is giving you legal guardianship of Samuel because of his mental compromised state.”

Dean rolled his eyes and reached for the social worker’s clipboard. He knew Sam would likely have his head for his later but right now. He didn’t care. Right now, he had no guarantees that Sam would ever be back to normal so this had to be done for Sam’s sake. Dean signed the paperwork after skimming it and handed it back to her.

He sighed, “Okay, now do you mind telling me what is going on with Sam?”

Gabriel gave Dean a weak smile and again Dean resisted the urge to punch him. Gabriel spoke calmly, “Sam is going to be fine physically. He had a dislocated shoulder and some bruised ribs. Sam had some minor cuts on his face and he does have bruising throughout his body. But he will be fine.”

The social worker who continued to talk faster than humanly possible asked, “We noticed scarring on Sam. Is there a history of abuse in your family?”

Dean closed his eyes and wondered why the hell that was important. Sam was an adult who clearly did not want anyone to know that John beat him growing up. But Dean remembered the deal with Gabriel, the truth and no lying deal. Slowly Dean said, “Our Dad would get drunk sometimes and knock me around. I never knew he was hitting Sam until Sam regressed because of that experiment.” Dean paused with the wide eyed expression on the social worker’s face, “I know, I should have known and I should have stopped it. I won’t let our Dad lay another hand on Sam.”

The social worker quickly asked, “Does he still hit you?”

Dean crunched up his brow and glared at her for a moment, “Lady, I am 25 so no I am not stripping off my shirt or dropping my pants for my Dad to hit me.” 

Gabriel sighed, “What Becky here is trying to get at is Sam has scars on his back consistent with being whipped and hit with a belt buckle. The scars are old but they are still a cause of concern.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Look, I will make sure Sam is safe. I can’t change the past and I can’t change what happened today. When can we leave the hospital?”

Gabriel grinned and said, “I will get the release papers ready.”

+++

Dean arrived with Sam at the apartment to find Bobby cleaning blood off the floor and Jessica sitting at the table looking like she had seen a ghost. Dean led Sam over to the sofa and had him sit down. Sam still hadn’t let go of the teddy bear. Dean couldn’t decide if he should be annoyed by Sam’s desire to cuddle with a stuffed bear or take a picture of him with it for future torment. He quickly decided not to take a picture because then he would have documented evidence of his father being an ass.

Bobby stopped his cleaning once Sam was seated and sat down next to him. He asked lightly, “What is the bear’s name?”

Sam didn’t look up but mumbled, “Doesn’t have one.”

Bobby nodded and continued talking lightly, “You should name it. I bet it will like a name.”

Sam curled his arm tighter around the bear and said, “The nurse said that he is a helpful bear and is here to help me feel better.”

Bobby looked at Sam for a moment and asked gently, “Is he helping?”

Sam nodded, “He helps my chest not hurt as much.”

Bobby looked up at Dean, “Rib damage?”

Dean sheepishly looked away and said, “Yeah, not bad though. Just bruised.”

Sam mumbled into his bear, “Still hurts.”

Dean flinched at that. He didn’t mean to discredit or downplay anything that happened to Sam. He just didn’t want Bobby to worry. He decided in that moment he was in over his head and he wished his mom was still alive. She would know what to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table in Sam’s apartment staring at a blank notepad. He decided that the best way to get through this game and get Sam back to himself was to create a list of all of his lies. Then he could just read them off, tell Sam to shut up while he is reading and be done with it. His plan sounded great inside his head but in practice he was having some difficulty.

He realized he didn’t keep many secrets from Sam and the ones he did were probably going to hurt Sam’s feelings. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Sam. Dean tapped his ink pen on the paper and thought. He wondered if it would be easier to just bail his dad out of jail, tie him to a chair, and make him confess to his lies and secrets instead.

Dean shook his head at that thought. His dad probably had worst skeletons in his closet than he did. Dean sighed this wasn’t going to be easy. He leaned his head down on the paper and started to think about what would piss Sammy off the least. He was drawing a blank.

Bobby moved and sat down next to Dean. He asked carefully, “What are you doing, son?”

Dean turned his resting head towards Bobby and mumbled, “Trying to figure out how screwed I am. I met the trickster today and in order to get Sammy back to his right mind. Dad and I have to tell him our secrets. Specifically the stuff we lied to him about.”

Bobby chuckled and said, “You’re an idjit, Dean. You wouldn’t be in this situation if you didn’t view yourself all high and mighty. The trickster is trying to knock you down a peg with this little truth game.”

Dean sighed into the blank notebook paper, “Thanks for your support, Bobby.  I think my new moto in life is never lie or keep secrets from Sam.”

Bobby looked at Dean carefully, “You know, you could tell Sam that you have always been jealous of him.”

Dean looks up from the paper and balks, “What? No, I am not jealous of Sam.” Bobby doesn’t say anything. He just quirks an eyebrow and Dean sighs, “Okay, maybe a little, but that was only because I thought Dad loved him unlike me and other stuff that is not important.” Begrudgingly Dean writes down that he was jealous of Sam at the top of his list following by disgruntled stammering that this activity was going to turn him into a girl.

 ++

In the end, Dean decided to write down on his notepad everything he and his father lied to Sam about. Sadly, it was a fairly short list. Sam tended to catch them in their lies a lot or Dean confessed to lying to Sam on a number of occasions prior to this. Dean decided not to call it a guilty conscience. He considered telling Sam the truth about certain things as a need to know situation. Sam needed to know the truth, so Dean told him. However right now, Dean was regretting his past honestly.

Bobby decided to go bail John out of jail, not because he wanted too but because he was needed for this little exercise to get completed. Dean was sitting in Sam’s apartment which smelled of bleach from all the scrubbing on the floor Bobby did yesterday. It made Dean feel sick to think that was Sam’s blood on the floor. He would have rather it been his blood.

Dean heard a knock on the door and figured it was Bobby back with their father. He was not expecting to see an unknown man about Sam’s age at the door. Dean knew just by looking at him that he was a hunter. The man smiled and reached out a hand. “Hi, I am Christian Campbell. I am looking for Jessica Moore.”

Dean heard Jessica’s perky voice come from behind him, “Oh hey Christian, please come on in.”

Dean moved to allow Christian to enter the apartment. He didn’t miss the goggle eyes they gave each other. He wondered briefly if Jessica was really a slut but he wasn’t sure what that made him. A man slut maybe? He didn’t know but he had more important things to worry about than his questionable sexual preferences.  

He watched as Christian and Jessica gave each other hugs which he was sure was an indication that they were a little more than friends. Carefully Dean walked over to Christian and said, “Hi, Dean Winchester. It is nice to meet you.”

Christian firmly shook Dean’s hand and gave an arrogant smile, “I wish we could have met under better circumstances. I am here to help out with the hunt since you seem to be having some family issues. Jessica and I go way back. I understand you are her boyfriend’s big brother?”

Dean nodded and glanced towards the bedroom where Sam was thankfully still sleeping in a mildly drug induced haze. Cautiously Dean replied, “Yes, I am. Sammy is doing fine though.”

Christian didn’t say anything. He just shook his head and sat down on the sofa.

++

About an hour later Bobby arrived with John. Bobby looked aggravated and John looked a little sheepish. Christian and Sam were having a lively conversation about the merits of unarmed army men. Sam insisted they were essential to know what side the army men were on, while Christian insisted that an unarmed soldier is a vulnerable soldier.

Bobby made John sit down in a chair away from Sam. Dean made a point to take a seat between his father and Sam. His reasoning was if his father wanted to beat the hell out of Sam again. He would have to go through him first. Christian looked amused with the situation. Jessica seemed nervous.

Bobby slapped his hands together and said firmly, “Okay this is how it is going to go. John and Dean are going to state clearly the lies and secrets they have kept from Sam. We are going to go in chronological order because I said so. If either of you start to act like idjits, I will shoot you with rock salt.”

Dean glanced up at Bobby and nodded followed by a simple, “Yes sir.”

John rolled his eyes and glared at Bobby for a minute. “I guess I should start this stupid game since Dean probably doesn’t remember a lot from when he was four.”

Christian stood up from the sofa and walked over to a shelf with family pictures of Sam’s family. He was staring at them as John made his first confession, “Sam is infected with demon blood. A demon bled in his mouth when he was 6 months old. That is what caused him to kill his mother.”

Christian’s eyes focused on an old photo of an infant, a small blonde haired boy, and someone who he was sure was his second cousin Mary. He picked up the picture and held it out for them to see, “Is this Mary Campbell in this picture?”

John huffed and replied, “Mary Winchester.. Campbell was her maiden name.”

Christian nodded and put the picture back. He carefully asked, “Sam’s birth name. Was it Sam Campbell instead of Sam Winchester?”

John was glaring daggers at Christian by this point, “Yes, it was. His mother and I were separated at the time he was born. I had his last name changed to mine when we got back together.”

Christian nodded again and said as carefully as possible, “Did your wife ever tell you why there would be a demon in Sam’s bedroom?” John didn’t reply and Dean was honestly curious, “She told us before her death that she made a deal with a demon to enter her house 10 years after an event. It was made the night her parents died. From my understanding, she never did say why she made a deal. Anyways, the deal wasn’t for her soul only to enter the house and she wouldn’t be harmed if she didn’t interfere.”

Dean quirked an eyebrow at Christian and said firmly, “What are you saying?”

Christian shrugged, “My dad looked into it after she died. There were four other similar fires and the same rumor about demon blood that John is talking about. My dad chalked the whole thing up to demons wanting hunters to go on a baby killing spree. I doubt Sam is infected with anything.”

John scuffed at that idea, “If he isn’t infected with anything then why doesn’t he listen to me?”

Christian moved to sit back down and said casually, “I wouldn’t listen to a man that beats me.”

Dean broke into the conversation if for nothing else than to stop the pissing match which was about to happen between Christian and his father. “Christian, why do you know so much about our mother?”

Christian leaned back and smiled, “You’re my cousins. Third cousins I do believe.”

Bobby sighed and looked at Sam. He softly asked, “Sam, how old to remember yourself to be?” He figured he should check to see if Sam was actually gaining any progress from this because if he wasn’t. Then there was no point in torturing everybody.

Sam looked up. His grip on the teddy bear was looser but the hurt in his eyes was still visible, “9 years old, Uncle Bobby.”

Bobby nodded and looked in between John and Dean, “Okay, we only have 12 more years to gain.”

Dean rubbed his hands on his thighs and said tentatively, “This means we are making progress. I’ll go next. When I was in elementary school. I used to steal other kids lunch money so I would be able to buy food for us. I told Sam that the reason why I had so many quarters was from mowing lawns.”

Christian looked at Dean for a moment questioningly, “So you were a bully?”

Dean shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to be. It was one of the first hustles Dad taught me.”

Bobby rolled his eyes and looked over to John. He said firmly, “You’re up.”

++  
After several hours of back and forth, Sam managed to get his memories back to age 20. He found out about Dean’s time away at Sonny’s when he was 12. He found out about where his father was on holidays while the boys were locked inside a motel room. John wasn’t hunting. He was just drinking away his sorrow at a bar followed by spending the night in the arms of a lonely woman. Sam remained mostly quiet throughout the whole thing. Strangely quiet by Dean’s standards and he didn’t make eye contact with Dean after Dean admitted he was jealous of him. Sam did ditch the teddy bear once he gained his memories back to age 14 and that was when Dean saw Sam feel out the injuries on his body. Dean didn’t say anything because there wasn’t much to say.

They were taking a break for the last one. Dean and John were arguing in the dining room over who should have to admit to a wrong doing. It annoyed Sam. He just wanted this to be over so he could kick his father out of his house. He knew Dean slept with Jessica. Sam had heard and saw it the night it happened. However at the time, his seven year old mind did not process what was going on. He wanted to talk to them both about it, but he wanted to do that without all the other people around.

Sam was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. He got up to answer it. When he opened the door there was no one there but there was a basket filled with candy sitting on the ground with a note. He looked around before taking the basket into the house and sitting it down on the coffee table.

Sam opened up the note and read it.

_Sam,_

_It is so great to see you remembering who you are. Your family really pulled together on this one._

_However, I have decided to dictate the last secret to be revealed. It is a secret your daddy holds. One that has had 15 years of life._

_Enjoy the candy._

_Gabriel_

Sam folded up the paper and sat it on the table. He impatiently said, “Dad.. Dean.. Can you come here please? We received a package telling us what the last secret has to be?”

Dean walked in front of his father and motioned for John to sit down away from Sam. Dean once again sat down in between Sam and his father. Quickly Dean said, “Look Sam, before you go into whatever it is you are going to say. I want to you know I slept with Jessica.”

Sam took a couple of deep breathes and glanced between Jessica and Dean. “I know. I don’t want to go into that right now. I want to talk to you both about that in private. Now, if you don’t mind. I would like to finish this.”

Dean nodded and said sheepishly, “Oh course, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “It is Sam.” He paused to make sure Dean got the message. “Dad, I got a note that says you’ve been keeping a secret from Dean and me for 15 years. What is the trickster talking about?”

John made a face that told Sam his father was going to lie. “It means nothing.” He said firmly.

Dean sighed and went over to his father’s jacket. He pulled out his journal. Dean opened it up to the first page and started flipping through the pages. He made eye contact with his father, “I am going to go through every personal contact you have in here until I find out what you are hiding. Or you could save me the trouble of making you look like an ass and just tell us.”

Bobby took a different approach while Dean was taking the journal. He was putting salt rounds in his gun. He raised his gun and shot it once into John’s thigh. John jumped at the impact and said angrily, “What the hell, Singer?”

Bobby shrugged, “I told you that you either tell the truth or I shoot you with rock salt. I have a lot of rounds and a lot of time on my hands. Spill it, Winchester.”

Begrudgingly John replied, “You have a half-brother, Adam Mulligan. He is 15.”

Dean closed the journal abruptly and stared at his father for a long moment. Finally he said, “Are you telling me that some of the times when you abandoned us for a week or two in some crappy motel. You are playing father of the year to Adam?”

John nodded and looked up at Dean, “Something like that, I just wanted him to have something you boys didn’t have.”

Dean felt a rush of anger through him for the first time since this whole thing started, “You know what? We could have had whatever it was you thought we were missing if you would have just settled down somewhere with us and been a father. But don’t worry Dad, I had no problems being Sam’s brother and parents.”

Sam stood up and said softly, “Dean, it is okay.” He made eye contact with his dad and said sternly, “Thank you for coming, Dad, but I would like you to leave now.”


	8. Chapter 8

Sam was more than grateful to see his father leave. He didn’t really have much use for the man. It wasn’t like John was ever really a father to him anyways. Now he was left to figure out what to do next. He was angry about what happened when he lost his memory, but he was uncertain of whom to be angry with.

Bobby could see that Sam was upset and probably wanted some space. He stood and looked to Christian. Casually he said, “I think we should go take care of this trickster. I think Sam needs to talk to Dean and Jessica in private.”

Sam watched in silence as Bobby and Christian left. He didn’t have much to say at Bobby at this point although he knew a thank you was in order. Sam glanced over to Dean after the apartment door closed. He knew he had to get this over with.

He sat down in a chair and took a deep breath, “Dean, I am not mad at you. I just want to know why.”

Dean put on his best smirk and said casually, “Sammy, you’re my baby brother of course I would be here for you. It is my job to protect you.”

Sam shrugged and raised his eyebrows, “Hell of a job you did. Why did you sleep my girlfriend?”

Dean didn’t want to go into this. How in the world could he explain this to Sam? He closed his eyes and tried to think for a few moments before he finally blurted out, “I couldn’t help myself. I have never felt that way before. It was like I was compelled or something. I am sorry, Sam.”

Sam glanced at Jessica who was standing like a statue off to the side. She was notably nervous which Sam couldn’t blame her for. In all honesty, Sam knew she was probably expecting them to start fighting.  In an exhausted voice he asked, “What about you, Jessica?”

Jessica stumbled for words, “I..um.. I don’t know Sam. It just felt right.”

Sam gave a halfhearted laugh, “Okay then, I already know Dean plays the field. So Dean doing something like this isn’t really a shock. But you, I thought we had something.”

Jessica’s eyes went wide and the words flew out of her mouth. “No, it’s not like that Sam. I swear.”

Sam stood and asked coldly, “Really, than is that why after you got done screwing Dean you called up your ex-boyfriend to come help out? How many people are you sleeping with that I don’t know about?”

Jessica walked over to Sam and rubbed her hand up and down his good arm. She made eye contact with him and she kept her voice soft, “I was faithful to you until Dean and for that I am sorry. I called Christian because I knew he was a hunter. I didn’t know you and your brother were hunters.”

Sam stepped back from Jessica’s touch and shook his head. He felt defeated, “I need some time to clear my head.”

Dean looked up from where he was intently staring at the ground as he waited for Sam to start fighting with him. He spoke with a smile on his face, “We could always go hunting. Nice weekend getaway and I can have you back by Monday.”

Dean was not expecting Sam to take him up on the offer. He was shocked when Sam said, “Yeah, okay. Let me grab a few things.” Sam started to walk towards his bedroom door and he turned back towards Dean, “But Dean, I do have to be back Monday. I have an important interview.”


End file.
